Grace Notes // When We Were Kings Week 10

Elijah’s Failure of Heart 

Written by Keli Miller

“I have had enough! Lord, take my life for I am no better than my fathers.”  - Elijah, 1 Kings 19:4

Elijah, fearful and exhausted is ready to die. In this moment, Elijah is experiencing what can be called a “failure of heart.”  In the book Tempered Resilience, by Tod Bolsigner, failure of heart is defined as;

“...becoming so hardened and brittle that leading the change process is changing the leader for the worse. It is becoming so angry at God or cynical about the very people that we have been given to lead that soon we are demanding that God relieve us of the burden, or, in (this) case, ‘to put me to death.”

It’s strange to see Elijah so defeated, when last week we saw his big victory on Mt. Carmel. Shouldn’t he be in better spirits? It doesn’t say this explicitly in the text, but my hunch is that Elijah had expected his win on Mt. Carmel to have a greater impact. He just defeated all the prophets of Baal and ended the drought, surely Ahab and Jezebel will turn to the Lord? Wrong. Once again God’s people weren’t listening to Elijah or following God. Disappointment can be so exhausting and for Elijah, this disappointment seems to be a breaking point. 

So he runs away. It’s important to note here that God didn’t send Elijah away or hide him. Elijah chose to run away all on his own, without instruction from God. And God, in gentleness and graciousness sends care for Elijah and meets him here. 

First there was a hurricane, but God was not in the hurricane. Then came the earthquake and fire but God wasn’t in those either. And then after the fire, in the stillness, was the still small voice of God. This is a powerful mirror into what takes place in our lives, when we experience disappointment or grief. When our emotions are raging like a hurricane and our anger burns like a fire, God rides out the waves with us, and meets us.

“Be still and know that I am God.”

-Psalm 46

In Sunday’s message, we unpacked this Psalm, specifically the word “still”. Which originally meant something similar to weakened, alone, feeble, or fail. Essentially you could replace the word with any one of these. “Fail, and know that I am God.”

Elijah experienced a failure of heart. He hated the very people God called him to, resented his mission, and thought all was hopeless. And God met him there in that state of desperation. Before he even said a word, God knew what Elijah needed. It wasn’t death or release from mission, it was rest and an encounter with God. 

In The Word 

1 Kings 19 

Psalm 46:10 

Processing 

2020 has been a year for curve balls and pivots. Where are you feeling fatigue? Are there areas where, like Elijah, you have wanted to give up? 

How have you experienced God’s care for you in seasons of disappointment and fatigue? 

God spoke to Elijah in a whisper. Spend some time this week practicing the discipline of silence. Quiet all distractions, and listen for God. Is there a word that he is speaking over you in this season?